Thursday, December 30, 2010


I am stuck.  I feel like I am stuck with my lifestyle like getting stuck in the snow with my car.  I try to rock back and forth with hope to get out, but now I am not sure if I am in too deep.  I am in a rut right now where I where I am struggling with motivation and willpower.  I am looking for the kick to get me out.  I am also experiencing some confusing thoughts in regards to diet.

A few weeks ago I met with an endocrinologist.  He told me he wanted me to diet, track calories, blah, blah blah.  I never have had a doctor tell me that before.  I left so frustrated, but I can't get his words off my mind.  He seemed fixated on the fact that I have difficulty losing weight.  I discussed so many more symptoms that were equally if not more concerning and that is the one he gets hung up on.  Douche.  Regardless of my personal opinion of him, I am frustrated with it.

I do not think dieting is the answer.  The answer to me is lifestyle change. I even asked..."what happens when I reach my goal weight or go off the diet?"  I know the answer, but I can't get over the dumbfounded look on his face.  He was so surprised that I asked that.

When I started this post, I was struggling with taking the plunge and going on a diet.  I think I need something more structure and discipline.  I feel that I am lacking the discipline.  I want to be told what to do what to eat.  Tonight, I got really frustrated with trying to create my shopping list for the week.  I really really really want to get back into meal planning, but all the sudden I feel like I don't have the tools to do that.  I looked up recipes and still felt lost.  It didn't help that nothing really sounded good at the time.  UGH.  It could be that I am so congested that I can't think straight. 

So, I am stuck with wondering what to do next.  I am intrigued by two diet plans.  Both have a monetary investment.  Or is there someone out there willing to meal plan for me?  If so, note I am a flexatarian who hates celery.  I will not touch any form of it to my lips. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Eat is such a crucial thing for survival.  For so many of us food goes on beyond that to a comforting or coping mechanism or it may even be out of boredom.

I am struggling to see if this is true for me which is why I set the goal for myself to record what I eat.  So far I have not done that.  I don't really have a good reason for it, but tomorrow is a new day.  I will put my effort forth on working on my goals. 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Week 1 Goals

I decided I am going to set my goals on Sunday.  It is an overwhelming task, because I feel there is so much to work on.  Awhile ago I took a class through my previous employer where we worked on healthy lifestyle changes.  I am going to use the techniques I learned in the class for the most part - as I have had the most success there.

Here is the format I will use to track my goals for the week.

Start Date: 12/19/10
Weeks go: Sun-Sat

I am in good physical health and enjoy an active lifestyle that I had before by children were born. I look forward to exercise and eating healthy. I feel comfortable in my body and with who I am

-       I will have energy to play with daughters
-       I will look and a feel good.

3-Month Goals
1)  I will be consistently making good food choices and eating to fuel my body.
2)  Exercise will be a part of my daily routine (within reason)
3) I will be drinking 64 ounces of water daily.

Actions Needed to Reach My Goal
1)     Plan meals and grocery shop weekly
2)     Limit  treats (have 1 cupcake, not 2)
3)     Set up exercise plan and schedule exercise on my calendar
4)     Have a water bottle available

Initial Notes:
-       This behavior change is mostly about physical fitness, not weight (although would like to reach a size 10)
-       Don’t feel like my own person
-       Seeking to find personal identity


Strategies to Overcome

I can’t control the commitment of my family to eat healthy.

I will buy the food I will eat.  I will prepare the food I eat.  If they want something other than what I am providing they will have to provide it themselves.

I will schedule time to exercise and prep food.
Bad Attitude

I will post positive mantras around the house to help reprogram my attitude.

My GOALS for the next week are:                                             Date: 12/19/10



% Complete
I will track everything I put in my mouth 6 out of 7 days.

I will exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes 6 out of 7 days.

I will spend 15 minutes decluttering 3 days this week

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Hello, hello, is anybody out there


My life goal has been to live a better life than I did growing up.  I did things in the order I felt right: go to college, get job, get married, have kids.  In 5 years of marriage I we have lived in 3 different cities and have a 4 year old and 3 year old. 

I have been struggling with my weight since the birth of my 2nd child.  I didn't really see it as an issue before that.  Really what was I to expect when I had two children 13 months apart?  The biggest struggle I have is staying motivated.  I go through spurts of being motivated and living well to not wanting to do anything but play around on FaceBook. 

I think keeping a record of the roads I have travelled in this journey.  When I get frustrated I can look back and see my progress or learn from my mistakes.  I feel this forum will help keep me accountable.  I have used SparkPeople in the past, but become overwhelmed by it.

I will try my best not to offend my readers, but I really don't want to use my filter while journalling.  I want to put my honest, thoughts, opinions, struggles, and triumphs out there.  I hope to inspire and challenge you and me when it comes to taking the steps to change my lifestyle for the better. 

I appreciate and welcome any questions or comments you may have.  I believe it will help keep me going - inspire me.  I think it will challenge my thinking and make wiser decisions.  I am interested in all points of view.  Please do not get nasty as I am not an expert.  I am learning and trying to figure out what will work for me.