Long road ahead, but so much behind me

If you haven't noticed by my lack of posts lately...I am really struggling on my journey.  My self confidence has waned.  My ambition packed a bag and left for some relaxing beach somewhere.  My motivation is really trying to stand by me, but I feel like that is going to leave soon too.  I really am trying hard to hold it all together, but I am seriously about to lose it.

The weekly meetings help keep me going.  Getting compliments from those around me pushes me too.  This past week, the compliments have been many, but I don't feel that I can truly accept them.  Mainly, because I have been slacking in tracking my food for the past couple of months.  My husband tells me to just do it.  Really, it isn't that difficult, because a) I have the app on my phone and b) I have access to e-tools that come with my Weight Watchers membership.  I increasingly have been sneaking food.  I never thought I had a food issue before, but now I realize that I do.  I am not sure why - so I hope that there will be more of this topic to come with the sole purpose of figuring out my closet food issue.

I have had weeks where I gain or stay the same.  I have also had weeks were I took the weight off.  I really must not be so hard on myself because here are the results thus far:
 1/4/2012

 -19 pounds 6/21/2012 - Look at the definition in my face.

I feel that I have come along way.  Why don't I get it when I am in a funk?  Why does it take a disagreement with my co-worker or hubby for it to sink into my skull?  I know I have a long way to go, but I am knocking on the door of a 20 pound/10% lose.  Another 15ish and I am at my BC (Before Children) weight. 

I have been working out quite regularly.  I even signed up for the Lazyman Triathlon at my YMCA.  I have 6 weeks to complete 2.5 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running or walking.  I have been good at the biking and walking.  The other day, I biked almost 16 miles in one sitting.  Tuesday nights I have been taking golf lessons.  Tomorrow night is my last one :( Well, until I sign up for another session ;) 

I do know that I gain muscle much faster than I lose fat, especially when I am working out regularly.  I am careful to not do too much strength training, but enough to keep up good health practices.  Now, that I have truly examined the physical results I need to drive myself to keep on keeping on!

The whole purpose of keeping this blog was to keep me on track.  To push me and keep myself accountable.  I am rededicating myself to post weekly updates.  Well, except 7/4, because I will be celebrating my wedding anniversary (a couple of days late) and Independence Day with my DH (who tries really hard to be supportive despite any BS I may try to throw at him).