Stuck

I am stuck.  I feel like I am stuck with my lifestyle like getting stuck in the snow with my car.  I try to rock back and forth with hope to get out, but now I am not sure if I am in too deep.  I am in a rut right now where I where I am struggling with motivation and willpower.  I am looking for the kick to get me out.  I am also experiencing some confusing thoughts in regards to diet.

A few weeks ago I met with an endocrinologist.  He told me he wanted me to diet, track calories, blah, blah blah.  I never have had a doctor tell me that before.  I left so frustrated, but I can't get his words off my mind.  He seemed fixated on the fact that I have difficulty losing weight.  I discussed so many more symptoms that were equally if not more concerning and that is the one he gets hung up on.  Douche.  Regardless of my personal opinion of him, I am frustrated with it.

I do not think dieting is the answer.  The answer to me is lifestyle change. I even asked..."what happens when I reach my goal weight or go off the diet?"  I know the answer, but I can't get over the dumbfounded look on his face.  He was so surprised that I asked that.

When I started this post, I was struggling with taking the plunge and going on a diet.  I think I need something more structure and discipline.  I feel that I am lacking the discipline.  I want to be told what to do what to eat.  Tonight, I got really frustrated with trying to create my shopping list for the week.  I really really really want to get back into meal planning, but all the sudden I feel like I don't have the tools to do that.  I looked up recipes and still felt lost.  It didn't help that nothing really sounded good at the time.  UGH.  It could be that I am so congested that I can't think straight. 

So, I am stuck with wondering what to do next.  I am intrigued by two diet plans.  Both have a monetary investment.  Or is there someone out there willing to meal plan for me?  If so, note I am a flexatarian who hates celery.  I will not touch any form of it to my lips.